Living a secret double life

By kate on August 2nd, 2005

Even though Steve and I have become pretty open about the pregnancy with our friends, I’m still keeping it a secret at work. I’m not sure why, exactly; it seems like that’s what you’re supposed to do.

Unlike some people, I’m not really worried about how they’ll react. I’m fairly sure that I’m an important member of the team (so I won’t be shuffled off to obscurity). Also, Jobster is quite a family-friendly place, even though none of its female employees have yet been pregnant while working there. See this blog entry by one of my colleagues for his perspective on the Jobster family culture.

[As an interesting side note, his wife just had their baby, and created a new Swedish record for fastest delivery! It was only 25 minutes from her first contraction to the baby’s birth (by her and her husband, in the ER bathroom).]

In any case, I’m laying low for the time being. I go on vacation at the end of August, and I’m going to see if I can wait until my return to give the news. I think that’s the best way. Now, if I can only keep from showing too much for the next couple of weeks. I seem to have plateaued in that respect, so I might well make it.

Also complicating things is the question of if and when I’ll return to work. I don’t yet know what I’ll do, so it’s hard to tell Jobster anything with certainty (although I know the right wording is, “yes, I’m definitely coming back.” I need to tell them that to get paid maternity leave. I’m sure they offer maternity leave (though it’s not legally mandated), but I don’t know how much I get, or who to ask without tipping my hand.

I’m not sure I’ll know for certain whether I’ll return to work until the baby’s born. I know that so much can change then, that I feel like I should leave things open (in my mind at least). My preference would probably be to stay home. On the other hand, if Jobster continues to be as successful as it’s been, it may be quite lucrative to return for a year or two (to reap some stock option rewards). Steve could be the stay-home parent at first, before switching off with me, maybe.