Nothing to fear but…

By steve on August 24th, 2005

[This is an entry from Steve]

Before Kate became pregnant, we bought a book about pregnancy and what to expect. Since then, we’ve bought a few more, and have spent plenty of time noodling about the internet.

Most pregnancy literature is written with a female audience in mind. Invariably, when it comes time to address the father-to-be (in a condescending little sidebar, most likely), the text goes something like this:

“You’re probably feeling [one or more of confused, frustrated, overwhelmed, isolated, etc.] at this point, but rest assured that all new fathers feel this way.”

Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m feeling excited and confident. No confusion or frustration. I’ve got a good handle on the pregnancy, the birth, and Kate. In fact, the only negative feeling I can come up with is a bit of impatience — 6 more months of waiting for Zippy is a long time.

It’s disappointing to me that so much of what I’ve read attempts to undermine the confidence of the father before the baby even arrives.

Of *course* I don’t know what to expect — and neither did any other father before the birth of his child since, oh, the beginning of time. That’s not the point. I’m confident in my abilities to lead a good life and be a good person. My marriage, my career, and my hobbies are all examples of that. In each of those cases, I have pretty much just dived in without really knowing what the hell I was doing, made some mistakes, made some changes, and enjoyed the entire process. Why should child-rearing be any different?

To some extent, the fear that the baby books are trying to propagate is, like most, a fear of the unknown. But in my case, I’m perfectly comfortable stating that, yes, I don’t know everything that there is to know about raising Zippy. But how could I? We haven’t even met yet.