Call for help: toddler dawdling

By kate on November 13th, 2007

I feel generally confident about my skills as a parent, and I feel like I’m coping well with Ruby’s current need for consistent discipline. However, another aspect of toddler behavior is emerging, and it’s driving me nuts…

Dawdling.

Ruby has turned into the slowest eater on the planet. Lunch can take over an hour as she picks at her food and keeps changing her mind as to whether or not she’s done. My discipline methods ensure she will do things like help clean up the playroom, but there’s nothing I can do to make her do it at a reasonable pace. Sometimes I have to encourage her to keep moving after every block she picks up.  It makes me want to tear out my hair.

Parents: How have you dealt with dawdling? Is this a phase that will pass, or am I stuck with a kid who will always stop to smell the roses, examine the rocks, and wander off the path?


Filed under: parenting
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3 Responses to “Call for help: toddler dawdling”

  1. Eric's Mommy Says:
    November 14th, 2007 at 3:46 am

    Welcome to my world! Eric can be the SLOWEST thing on the planet and it is always when we are in a hurry to get out of the house. It’s horrible but usually I just end up having to snap at him and tell him to hurry up! That kind of surprises him and he gets moving.

  2. Nicole Says:
    November 14th, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Part of what we do as adults is relish in achieving OUTCOMES. ie- a clean room. but the beauty to a child is the PROCESS of cleaning the room. They aren’t able to cognitively enjoy the benefits of a clean room yet, but they can enjoy the sound a block makes when you throw it into the bucket, or the song you sing as you clean it up. It’s the journey not the destination. As frustrating as it might be to us as adults who are mostly outcome oriented, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded to smell the roses. She can’t understand that you’re going to be late for her gym date yet and nor should we put the stress on children to achieve that goal at that age. It’s not going to affect whether or not she does her homework in a timely manner. Think back to you and your standoff on the stairs. You had the patience to witness her go through the journey to achieve an outcome. The beauty of a child is that they are so in the moment they enjoy the process. Rules and boundaries and discipline are necessary for healthy child, but so is being true to an impulse or enjoying a moment. The question is whether she is doing this for a desired effect. if she’s doing it to upset you, then yes address it, but if she’s doing it because it’s how she wants to enjoy life, eeek… i can’t help but wish i had more of a life in which i could take the time to smell the roses, and let her enjoy that time now, because eventually she won’t have time for that…

  3. imaginary dana Says:
    December 2nd, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    Nicole — that is GREAT advice and a wonderful reminder — thank you for posting!

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