Toilet Training: we’re still waiting

By kate on March 28th, 2008

“It’s not a race,” I keep reminding myself as Ruby’s peers start toilet training. I find it hard to resist being swept up in a competitive spirit, especially because up to this point, Ruby’s generally been with or ahead of her peers. However, we’re still waiting to toilet train because of two reasons:

Ruby’s not ready
Her parents aren’t ready

Ruby is at a point where we could get started. We have a small kid potty and she understands what it’s for. Sometimes she sits on it (with varied results). But I’m holding off on making a serious attempt because she can’t tell us in advance when she needs to “go.” She also doesn’t seem terribly motivated or interested in taking this step yet.

And I’m not ready! I’m not ready to deal with a months-long stretch of constantly nagging her to go to the bathroom, sitting for long periods myself in the bathroom waiting for something to happen, cleaning up accidents, worrying about a reward system, dealing with leaving the house without the safety of diapers, etc. I have an idea (fantasy?) that leaving toilet training until Ruby’s older will make the process shorter and easier. I’ve heard stories of parents who started too early, which just made the whole thing stretch on until the kid was ready anyway. Ruby’s smart and I’m confident that one day, she’ll be entirely ready and motivated, and be able to have an intelligent conversation about the process.

It’s entirely possible that this is more parental laziness than developmental accuracy. We’ve trusted our instincts (and our common sense) in parenting Ruby and it’s turned out well thus far, so I’m hoping our success will continue. It’s here I pull out my well-worn serenity stone of parenting wisdom and remind myself that she won’t go off to college in diapers. It will most likely be sometime this summer that we’ll decide to go for it.

That said, I’m taking advice from anyone who wants to offer it (as long as you’ve already been through toilet training with your own kids). Please, put your tips and tricks in the comments, about anything from timing to rewards to what not to do. Maybe that way I can entirely avoid reading toilet-training how-to books.