Learning about time

By kate on November 19th, 2007

Click here for a post I wrote on Ruby’s blog about a project I created to teach Ruby about the days of the week.

Filed under: handiwork, life, parenting | 1 Comment »

A punishment I can enjoy

By kate on November 19th, 2007

When Ruby is being punished, I almost always go for the timeout. But sometimes, a timeout just isn’t possible – in the car, for example. It took me a while to figure out something I could punish her with in the car (for such misdeeds as not listening when I tell her to come and get in the car, or being noisy when someone’s on the phone).

But as Ruby got more and more interested in listening to music, I realized that was the solution. If I want to promise a reward, I can tell her I’ll put on her favorite CD. If I need to punish her in the car, I can threaten to put on NPR (“talking” as Ruby calls it).

It’s a great system because I enjoy the car ride either way, and the punishment doesn’t slow us down when we’re on our way somewhere.

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Call for help: toddler dawdling

By kate on November 13th, 2007

I feel generally confident about my skills as a parent, and I feel like I’m coping well with Ruby’s current need for consistent discipline. However, another aspect of toddler behavior is emerging, and it’s driving me nuts…

Dawdling.

Ruby has turned into the slowest eater on the planet. Lunch can take over an hour as she picks at her food and keeps changing her mind as to whether or not she’s done. My discipline methods ensure she will do things like help clean up the playroom, but there’s nothing I can do to make her do it at a reasonable pace. Sometimes I have to encourage her to keep moving after every block she picks up. It makes me want to tear out my hair.

Parents: How have you dealt with dawdling? Is this a phase that will pass, or am I stuck with a kid who will always stop to smell the roses, examine the rocks, and wander off the path?

Filed under: parenting | 3 Comments »

Camera-buying advice

By someone else on November 10th, 2007

We recently asked my brother, Mark, for advice on whether to get a point-and-shoot (P&S) or digital SLR for our next camera (we’ve had both). Mark is a good photographer and the kind of guy who takes the time to do a ton of research before making a major purchase. His response was so good that I wanted to post it (with his permission) so others could benefit from it too. He not only covers camera recommendations but includes some philosophy about photography and parenting. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: consumerism, parenting, technology | Comment now »

Is your child wearing the uniform?

By kate on November 7th, 2007

Today I was at a local community center with Ruby and noticed something. There were 12-15 children playing in the room, and every single girl except Ruby was wearing pink (at least some pink – most had a whole top or bottom that was pink). Every boy was wearing a blue top or bottom (even if you overlooked jeans), except one boy who was wearing green and grey.

My aversion to pink is nothing new. I don’t wear the color myself, and Ruby rarely does. I realize that’s an extreme position for something as basic as a color, and wouldn’t fault someone for including pink as part of a balanced wardrobe.

And that’s where the trouble starts. It isn’t balanced when 90% of children are wearing a single gender-appropriate color. Many girls have a wardrobe with pink on every outfit. Boys get slightly more freedom, being allowed some greens and greys with their blue. It’s as if, when a child is born, he or she is assigned a uniform that must be worn at least until adolescence (and beyond, for many). Take a moment to consider how you’d feel if some larger power insisted on a uniform for your child, one that every other child would also be wearing. I bet you’d feel angry and want to resist.

Anger is just how I feel about a society that not only thinks this system is OK, but actively encourages it in every way. I won’t even get into what the girl outfits and boy outfits could symbolize; I’m just mad about the conformity, the mindless acceptance of the blue/pink hegemony. About sending your kid the message that it’s desirable to be exactly like everyone else.

The good news is that, while it’s hard to avoid, the blue/pinkness is not yet mandatory. It is possible to shop for your child on the girl and the boy sides of the store. I’d say at least half of Ruby’s clothes are boy clothes (although I avoid the irritatingly masculine as I do the irritatingly feminine). There are a few enlightened clothing brands (Zutano is an example) that use all colors and don’t force everything into girl/boy categories. I have also had great luck at consignment stores finding items that are interesting and colorful.

If you have any kids, please take a minute and just think about whether you are unquestioningly pushing them toward conformity. There’s nothing (much) wrong with a frilly pink princess dress. But there is definitely something wrong when every dress is pink, or when every outfit features some kind of sports equipment or large vehicle. Mix it up a bit. Do it for my sake, so that when Ruby is old enough to want to conform, it won’t all look so pink.

Here’s a great article from The Guardian this week about the pink phenomenon. My favorite quote: “If pink is understood to be the colour of the female genitalia, then maybe hooray for it, but the male genitalia are even pinker and the rectum pinker still.”

Filed under: consumerism, parenting, pop culture | 8 Comments »

Chores: pay me now or pay me later

By kate on November 5th, 2007

A month or two ago, I read an excellent series of blog posts about how to instill a work ethic and get your children to work around the house. It made me realize that I should get started on Ruby right away, as she was getting old enough to do a few small things.

Her current chores are: sorting and putting away the silverware (from the clean dishwasher), helping to set the table by carrying things from the kitchen to the dining room, and helping to clean the playroom.

Let me first say that none of these things actually helps us right now or makes things any easier. Her involvement makes these activities take longer than if I were doing it myself (and that’s how many parents fall off this wagon). However, I see it as an investment. It’s like that saying “pay me now or pay me later,” except instead of money I’m paying with time. I’m paying upfront now in order to enjoy the payoff later of a kid who understands chores and does them automatically because that’s the way it’s always been. I can imagine that it would be much harder down the road to try to get an older child to suddenly start helping after they’re past their initial toddler’s eagerness to be involved.

One day I hope that Ruby will be as amazingly helpful as the children in the blog post I linked. However, now I am satisfied enough that I no longer have to look over her shoulder as she sorts the forks and spoons.