When there is some group activity, I always end up being the person who drives the planning. Let me make perfectly clear that I don't choose to do this. It's just that if I didn't do it, nobody would, and nothing would ever happen. I planned every dance I went to in highschool, including my prom. Not once did my date or any of my friends make an effort to organize, so I picked up the slack.

I don't really mind doing the dirty work once in a while. Everyone should have to. But it's gotten to the point where I find myself picking up everyone's slack, again, and I get resentful.

At work recently, I organized a skydiving trip. It was fun, we got group rates, I got a group organizer discount. Everyone thought I was cool for putting it together. Great. But you know that from now on they're all going to look to me to organize the next event. It wouldn't occur to anyone to say, "Hey, Kate, that was a great skydiving trip. I think I'll see if anyone wants to go bungee jumping. Are you interested in signing up?" Of course not.

This even happens a lot with my friends. We get stuck in the "What do you want to do?" "I don't know, do you have any ideas?" morass, until I am forced to make suggestions so we don't sit on our asses the whole time. Why? Why does it always have to be me that blinks in that staring contest?

Just once, I would like someone to call me up and tell me, hey, what are you doing tomorrow? I thought it would be nice if we did (specific thing), then (specific thing), and maybe (specific thing) afterwards, what do you think? I would be too busy drifting around in Happy Land (to borrow a phrase from my friend Derek) to raise any objections. Even better, what if someone called me up and said, "Are you free tomorrow? Because I'm going to take you out. Where? It's a surprise." And they had a whole night or day planned out, reservations and preparations and all and I didn't have one thing to do with it. Or, what if someone other than me organized a cool group thing without my help? Any of those would make my year.

It isn't very likely, I know, but I can hope. It helps to dispel the resentment at what seems to be my irrevocable lot in life.

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